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The Pig War - by Jeffrey A. Thomas
The Pig War
by Jeffrey A. Thomas
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THE PIG WAR – AN ALTERNATE HISTORY
ABOARD USS MASSACHUSETTS
Benjamin Franklin Allen sat on a box at the stern of the Massachusetts, calmly smoking a pipe. The placid waters of Saratoga Passage slipped by the ship as she chugged northward. The shores were largely uninhabited, a peaceful setting. Overhead he watched an eagle circling. The feathers at the tips of its wings fluttered from time to time in the light breeze. One of the junior officers that had come west with Garibaldi stood nearby, in case he should be needed. Which he wasn't. Allen enjoyed these moments and wanted to be left alone.
Three other ships trailed Massachusetts. The steamers Constitution and Julia had been pressed into service. The revenue cutter Jefferson Davis brought up the rear. Massachusetts was the only real warship, but the others had been fitted with some spare cannon from Fort Steliacoom, although the little Davis could only carry one. The main job for these ships was carrying troops, and they were packed to the gunwales with men and equipment.
With a cry the eagle dove toward the water, dipped its talons with a small splash, and emerged with a salmon in its grip.
Allen took the pipe from his mouth.
"He'll have a good meal."
"Sir?"
"Fresh Salmon. A Washington Territory treat. When this is over I will invite you people to dinner. We must meet properly. I'll plank a salmon for you. Commodore Garibaldi will like I'm sure."
"Plank a salmon sir?"
"You'll see."
Allen smiled at the smell running through his mind. The natives knew how to cook salmon. You laid the fish on top of a cedar plank soaked in water and laid the whole thing over hot coals. The taste was unmatched anywhere.
Captain Jacobson approached.
"It looks like we're right on schedule. We should be there shortly after the tide turns."
"Good. It's the only time we can be sure of getting through. The channel will be full, the current with us. Promises to be quite a ride."
"I don't doubt it."
Allen resumed puffing on his pipe as the ship turned slightly to starboard to enter Skagit Bay.
ABOARD HMS GANGES
Admiral Baynes looked on in disgust as the Captains of Ganges and Jarvis tried to get the ponderous ship of the line into a position from which she could fire on the American fortifications. There was a strong current running from North to South, and a light breeze blowing from the North. Everybody but Governor Douglas seemed to have known these two facts in advance, but of course he had paid no attention when making his plans.
The fact that funnel smoke from Julia was engulfing the ship didn't help Baynes' mood.
The only way to maneuver Ganges was to hook a towline to her stern and have Julia pull against the current. As a result Ganges swung back and forth like a hooked fish. They had fired one broadside a half-hour earlier, with no noticeable effect. Now Douglas was yelling to bring the ship in closer.
Baynes looked over at the American encampment. There was a long open, grassy field that sloped upwards to a lightly wooded hill. He could see tents in the woods, and had been told that some enclosures for animals lay on the far side of the hill. Earthworks and a great redoubt protected the camp.
"Closer, I said closer, this will never do."
"Governor, that might not be a good idea," this from Ganges' captain, "we may hit some unknown reef."
"Nonsense man, this is a deep channel. There is no obstruction."
Footnote here, if you can get a reference.
The Captain looked at Baynes helplessly.
"Governor," Baynes started to say something.
"I won't hear some silly objection," the governor interrupted, "just get on with it."
Baynes nodded at the captain. It was out of his hands.
He could hear Douglas yelling over the noise of the other activities on the ship. The thump of Julia's engine increased as she tried to pull harder against the current. They'd have to pull the ship northward and let her slide down on the current again to get her close enough to suit Douglas,
STRAIGHT OF JUAN DE FUCA
AND VICINITY
It was turning into a long stern chase. Susquehanna and Mississippi were able to gain only very slowly on the British ships. Commodore Garibaldi calculated that they would be in real fighting range about the time they all arrived at San Juan Island. In the meantime he fired an occasional shell at them just to make them pay attention. The British returned the favor from time to time. It seemed unlikely that either would do much hurt to the other.
Far to the south, HMS Plumper and HMS Satellite continued their lonely vigil guarding Admiralty Inlet. They'd seen a few fishing boats, but nothing else.
OFF SAN JUAN ISLAND
"That's the idea, get her in good and close, " Said Douglas.
Ganges was drifting down on the current, rapidly approaching a firing position off the American's camp. Baynes watched from the railing. They were close inshore, he could see men taking shelter. They knew they were going to be in a fight at any moment. Astern of Ganges, the Jarvis barely kept power to her engines; letting the tide do the work. The two ships were connected stern to stern by a tow rope. Marines with muskets crowded Ganges rigging.
Suddenly a loud grinding sound roared up from the keel of the ship. She began to take on a list to starboard. The grinding continued and Baynes could feel the bow rising as the great ship continued to push up onto whatever underwater obstruction she had hit. The list increased. With a sudden jerk the ship stopped dead in the water.
"Bloody ‘ell!" shouted a seaman as he fell heavily to the deck.
One of the marines fell out of the lowest spar of the mainmast on the starboard side, yelling as he fell into the cold water. Fortunately he had not fallen far. Some one threw him a rope. Higher in the rigging a number of men scrambled to get a hold of something.
"What's happened?" yelled Douglas.
"We're aground." Answered the captain.
He and Baynes looked over the rail. The outgoing tide swept passed the ship. It seemed to drop lower even as they watched.
"We must throw some of the guns overboard immediately "said Baynes.
"I agree. Bosun, get a crew ready."
"Aye aye, sir."
"What!" yelled Douglas "throw her majesty's cannon into the sea! You shall not!"
"Governor, it's our only chance to free the ship." Explained Baynes.
"No, you may not do it."
By know the Governor was shouting and red faced.
"Have Jarvis pull us off!"
"She's pulling with all she's got already. It's no use."
While the two men were arguing the tide continued to pull water from under the ship's keel.
AMERICAN CAMP
Pickett, Roberts, and Forsyth stood together in a small earthwork at the crest of the hill, from which they could see in all directions. Below them the encampment spread down to the water's edge, beyond which they could see Ganges and Jarvis.
"I don't know much about ships," said Pickett, "but our English friends seem to be having some trouble."
For fifteen minutes the Jarvis had been churning up the water in an effort to pull Ganges off the bottom. And with each passing minute more of the ship's copper-sheathed bottom showed above the water line. Pickett had ordered sharpshooters to take position near the water's edge, and begin firing at the ships. Now they could see the artillerymen moving a mortar into position to fire on the ships.
Abruptly a number of Ganges guns spouted red flame, followed immediately by dense clouds of smoke. Instinctively they ducked as the shells screamed over their heads. Moments later the field below them on the far side erupted in explosions. Several horses that had been grazing bolted in panic.
Pickett looked through his field glasses. Other than some overturned dirt the shells had not had any effect. Then he noticed a broken fence and some white blobs on the ground.
"James, I'm sad to say that they seem to have killed a couple of your chickens."
"There we go," piped up Roberts, "when they've killed enough chickens to equal a pig, the wars over."
"Sir!" snarled Pickett in mock anger, "don't say such a thing. I will not go down in history as the man who won The War of the Pigs and Chickens!"
"Oh that won't happen," Roberts added helpfully, "there was only one pig."
The three men laughed.
More of Ganges' guns fired. This time they seem to have been loaded with grapeshot as a forest of splashes erupted just off the beach.
The pop of muskets could be heard, punctuated by the boom of a mortar being fired. The three men watched the shell in flight. It went way over, a big column of water spouted several hundred yards beyond Ganges. The mortar men were having trouble finding the range looking out over the flat water. But they would have it soon.
ABOARD USS MASSACHUSETTS
The little fleet was nearing the head of Skagit Bay. One by one, Massachusetts leading the way, they turned to port. Ahead of them, the water narrowed rapidly, forming what George Vancouver had named Deception Pass in 1792.
Captain Allen walked to the rail, he could feel the pull of the outgoing tide starting to tug the ship forward. Other crewman looked ahead nervously. The current was picking up speed. Suddenly the ship was racing along, fully caught in the gripe of the current.
Looking over the side Allen thought, this looks like a rapids in a river, not an ocean channel. Great waves, crested with foam rose up all around the ship. The channel narrowed; high, rocky cliffs towered above the masts. Here and there a tree had found a foothold on the cliffs, but in many places even moss could not cling to the rocks.
The rock walls flew by with alarming speed. Never in his life had Allen seen the landscape pass by so quickly. He felt like he could put his hand out and touch the rock wall off either beam.
Then suddenly, they were through! The cliffs gave way to rocky, tree lined beaches. The current slowed rapidly as they moved out into the broader reaches of the Straight of Juan de Fuca.
Allen looked back at the rest of the fleet. They had all made it through safely.
He turned to Lt. Jacobson, "Well, it seems we've outflanked that British ship at Admiralty Inlet."
"Indeed we have. We should be safely at San Juan Island in no time."
SAN JUAN ISLAND
Baynes had once again gone off by himself. Douglas was running around the ship giving incomprehensible orders. He looked over the side from time to time. He noticed now that the tide had almost stopped running.
A wide swath of hull that was supposed to be underwater showed all the way around the ship. She was listing almost thirty degrees to starboard. They might have gotten her off if they'd thrown the guns overboard immediately but now it was too late. It would be hours before the high tide returned and they had a chance to refloat the ship.
The Americans on the beach fired their muskets once in a while, just for harassment.
The crew ducked when they heard the shots, but there was little to worry about, it wasn't very accurate. The mortar crews also tossed a bomb in the air occasionally, but they were even less accurate. He hoped some one would show up and rescue them from this silly predicament.
A looked shouted down from the mast and pointed.
Baynes looked on in consternation as first one American ship rounded the point at the southern end of the island, then another, and another. Where had they come from? Had some disaster befallen Plumper and Satellite; or worse yet Hornby? The two trailing ships turned toward shore, he could see that they were crowded with troops. The American reinforcements had arrived.
As he watched the leading ship maneuvered very carefully into position directly ahead of Ganges, beam on to the English ship.
"That Captain is good," he thought to himself, "he's done an admirable job of getting into a raking position without exposing himself to any fire from us."
Douglas rushed up to him.
"Where did they come from?" he demanded. "What are you going to do?"
"I don't know."
The American was small, it looked like she could only bring seven guns to bear, but a couple of broadsides of grapeshot and Ganges' deck would be a slaughterhouse.
And a few more broadsides would finish the work begun by tide and rocks. If they used hot shot they would no doubt set fire to the ship.
Douglas was still yelling at him to do something.
"Oh shut up you bloody fool!" he snapped, "small as she is that ship can kill us all in short order."
Douglas turned pale and stepped away.
With a wave of his hand Baynes summoned Ganges' captain. The two moved off by themselves for a conference. There was another shout from the mast. Ships could be seen on the horizon, Hornby being chased by the Americans. But he was at least an hour away. And when he got here it would be three American ships versus two British.
"Sir look!" Some one shouted, pointed at the American's signal flags, "he wants to parley!"
"Well," he said, "let's go see what they want."
The two small boats rowed toward each other in the open water between the two ships. The shooting from shore had stopped, and the Jarvis had ceased her efforts to pull Ganges free. There was little sound but the splash or oars in the water.
When he had first glimpsed the huge ship standing of San Juan Island Allen's heart had almost stopped. Then he realized that she was aground and helpless. Almost instantly an idea had sprung to mind. He hoped with all his heart that the man he was about to meet was more reasonable than General Harney. He had agreed wholeheartedly with Commodore Garibaldi's assessment of the U S Navy's chances against the British. War had to be avoided and he thought possibly he might have a chance to do just that.
They met almost exactly half way, bow to bow. Allen climbed into the bow of his boat, the men moving to the stern so the officers could talk. The British tars did the same. Allen tied the boats together with a short piece of rope so that the crews would not have to row to keep them together.
"Sir," he saluted, "Benjamin Franklin Allen, Captain, United States Navy."
The Englishman returned the salute.
"Robert Baynes, Rear Admiral, Royal Navy."
The two men gazed at each other for a moment, then Baynes broke the silence.
"Captain how did you get here? We have ships in place to block you, but you don't seem to have been in a fight."
"Well we came through the back door, so to speak."
"I see," said Baynes, puzzled, "perhaps sometime you can tell me about it."
Allen looked over at the helpless Ganges.
"Admiral I do not wish to fire on your ship. "
"I don't wish to be fired upon. But I can not surrender my ship. The idiot who thinks he's in charge here will have my head."
"I don't expect you to. I also find myself taking orders from, shall we say – not the sharpest tool in the shed."
Inspite of himself, Baynes smiled.
"Politicians everywhere seem to be the same. What do you have in mind?"
"Admiral, allow me to put some crew on your ship. They will insure that you do not fire when pulled free. I will guarantee safe passage to Victoria in exchange. "
"What about that lot." Admiral Baynes gestured toward San Juan Island.
"We will keep our camp here. You keep your camp at the north end of the island. We will make a line of demarcation in the middle. Let everything stand as it is until the diplomats settle the whole matter. We'll have to get word to the other ships out there."
He waved toward the ships, still far down the straights.
"That seems an excellent solution, but I have no authority to accept it."
Allen grinned.
"That shouldn't be a problem Admiral. I have no authority to offer it."
Baynes laughed and extended his hand.
"As you Americans say, we have a deal. "
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Copyright © 2003 by Jeffrey A. Thomas
Please send comments to Jeffrey A. Thomas at:
sneakythomas@hotmail.com
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